The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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