He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
