I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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