No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
