So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
i out mim tonsoeep
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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