she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
sex in a hospital.. check
I just want to make out with him forever
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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