toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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