He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
