So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
