I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just gargled with NyQuil
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
