I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You need Xanax blowdarts
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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