This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
