I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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