there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
