i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
