thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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