The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
