i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
