Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
