We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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