I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize