Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
im on a boat
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