That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
