Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
