I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
