Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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