There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
