Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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