I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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