Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize