i love accidental penises.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
