so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
