I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
