Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
