Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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