I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
