dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
