we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
