I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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