Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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