Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
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