Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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