i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
one might say we're banned from that church
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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