Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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