Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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