Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
