So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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