My hand turned me down
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
