Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize