Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
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