Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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