she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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