I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize