roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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