I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
