Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
