I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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