The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
