im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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