at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
